Gratitude

I’m grateful and blessed that my in-laws, each late 70’s are healthy and vibrant. Well enough to travel this Thanksgiving, to D.C., staying with their eldest son and his husband, my favorite brother-in-laws. I’ve mostly adored my in laws and they mostly love me. We’ve had moments, but overall they approve of me as thier daughter-in-law. I do love them dearly. They still believe thier son, the one I married, is the golden child, As his other 7 siblings would atest to. My husband was the “favorite.” I’m truly thankful they don’t know….

I’m thankful that my parents, mid sixties, are mostly well (except for her MDS) and vibrant. They are having Thanksgiving with my brother and his wife’s family. They share a fragile relationship with my brothers wife (she is superficial and very difficult, but she adores my brother and her 2 kids, my niece and nephew) and rarely are invited for holidays, birthdays etc. they were excited for the invitation, and feared they would hurt my feelings, as they traditionally spend it with my family. I truly am delighted for them.

I’m thankful that I’m hosting for a smaller group. Eight total. I’ve scaled down a few side-dishes, but Ive added roasting a second turkey; to make turkey pies for next weekend, and all of  our “Christmas tree” decorating festivities. My brother, his girlfriend, Sis (she’s like  my sister ❤️) and thier daughter, my sweetest, almost 5 year old niece! Sis know about the affair. My brother does not. He’d hate my husband forever, and probably tell,him what an asshole he thinks he is. It’s best he not know. Sis agrees. So  it will be easy enough to enjoy the day and thier company. And probably a football game!

I’m on call Wednesday-Friday overnights, so a smaller meal will be easier to manage, with potential calls the night.

I’ve made my traditional Thanksgiving menu and my shopping is done. I’ve made 3 pumpkin rolls and have a pumpkin pie in the oven now. I’ve got a blueberry and chocolate cream pie left to make. I’ve my veggies all ready to peel and chop, fresh rosemary, sage and thyme, a freshly and fully-stocked baking pantry and 2 turkeys harbored  in my very cramped-refrigerator. In my house with my things and my too many cats and dog. I’m thankful and blessed for these things, I’m too aware of the those less fortunate.

I’m thankful that my three beautiful children, are mostly thriving thru the caous and confusion of the past  almost-14 months since Dday. They seem mostly unscathed. I wonder if their adult life will reflect some childhood  scaring. But in the moment, they are doing mostly ok. I will emphasize that they each have added to the craziness, they are by no means perfect and we’ve had our share of trials! They have kept me grounded here this past year. They make my life better ❤️.

I’m thankful for my husband. He’s a charming and charismatic man. He’s the kind of guy that never forgets a name, goes out of his way to say hi, and everybody loves. He’s  a great father and our kids adore him. He’s thier buddy. He’s a terrific provider for his  family and has a successful career. He starts a new job next week, long awaited position. It’s a nice professional package for him, for us. He’s worked hard and waited a long time for this position. I’m thankful for his friendship, companionship and partnership. I’m thankful that he puts up with me and that he’s still here. I know how difficult I am.

I’m thankful that now, nearly 14 months after Dday I am slowly gaining clarity from the confusion and chaos in the wake of his affair. I have come to understand and know myself better. I’m kinder to me. I’m figuring things out and although I certainly don’t have the answers I want. I have the answers that I need. Now, with some clarity, I know that I have to ask myself a different set of questions, but not yet.

I’m thankful I’m here now and able to enjoy the holidays with my friends and family. I’m anxiously anticipating college acceptance letters and Senoir portraits, hockey season, winter formal.

I’m thankful for my fellow bloggers and commenters that remind me that I’m not loosing my mind. That I can come here, even whenit doesn’t always makes sense,  you all understand anyways.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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4 thoughts on “Gratitude

  1. Thank you for sharing such a positive outlook in this post. I struggle with keeping sight of the things I should be grateful for when all I can think about is the sadness my husband brought into our lives. You reminded me to focus on the “haves” rather than the “have nots” and to try to fill Thanksgiving with joy and family. xoxo

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  2. Wonderful rendering. You are indeed, very lucky…especially when it comes to your remarkable children. Your menu sounds scrumptious. I will be having “Boost” for Thanksgiving dinner. Here’s hoping for a great and unforgettable holiday for you and yours!

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