Rethinking Fidelity: Cheated on, or cheated out of?



Many people will agree that being cheated on, is one of the worst betrayals. To break your marriage vows, to be unfaithful, to break the boundaries you have set in your own marriage – simply terrible. I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment – it would be the ultimate betrayal.

As much as being ‘cheated on’ is horrible, I think there is something as equally insidious. That’s being ‘cheated out of’ something. What do I mean by this?

The standard marriage vows go something like:

I, take you to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part

You might not cheat on your partner, but are you cheating them out of a promise? Affection? Financial support? Love? Tenderness? Communication…

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3 thoughts on “Rethinking Fidelity: Cheated on, or cheated out of?

    1. And I was going to comment on it on your bog when I have a few minutes to spare.. It resonates with me and my me journey thru the after hell of infidelity. My husband cheated… His poor choice. But no excuse whatsoever. I am nor responsible for his choice, but I own my share of responsibility in getting to the point where he thought having an affair was an option.

      Good post.. Just so sure as you understand it doesn’t justify infidelity.


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